god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
