you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
