GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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