Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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