we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
