Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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