i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
