The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
