Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
