I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
