remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Randomize
