it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
