Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
