Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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