Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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