Just cropdusted the office
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Randomize
