first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize