She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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