Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize
