this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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