my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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