Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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