I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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