Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
should my penis look like a turkey
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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