we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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