ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize