i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
