Just mADE A PArabola og urine
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
