why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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