You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
