I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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