I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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