He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
