im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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