did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
