no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
