the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
third nipple confirmed
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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