Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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