1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
No subtext here. People are naked.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
