So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
