i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize