Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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