3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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