I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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