I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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