what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
