stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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