Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
50% drunk capacity currently
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
