Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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