There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
