She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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