lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
