with your own penis?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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