I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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