Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
