oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
