it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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