Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
