she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Vodka?
Forever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
