I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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