she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize