You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
