i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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